Naked Gym Guy

OK, I am not a homo. I just have been going to the gym a lot lately and there are a lot of naked dudes walking around in the locker room. Yes, I know, it is a locker room but for the sanity of me, put a damn towel on.

Naked Gym Guy isn't the guy who showers at the gym, that is normal. What isn't normal is walking across the locker to the urinal to take a piss, naked. That is just (really fucking) weird. Maybe not so weird for the naked guy, but definitely weird for the guy that was standing there peeing in the urinal (me) and the guy who just walked into the locker room to catch naked guy being naked walking across the locker room. You can't even take comfort in looking at the other guy with a freaked out face because that just shows guilt that you saw naked guy, naked. Now embarrassed guy (me) just has to stand there while feeling rather uncomfortable while peeing. Uncomfortable peeing is bad peeing. Front yard peeing is good peeing (especially when you are drunk) because it is peeing in a comfortable surrounding, like Bruce's bushes. That is real good comfortable peeing. Not only does naked gym guy pee while being nude, he weighs himself in the nude, like that pair of Hanes is going to weigh him down. What happens if his dork brushes against the scale? How weird would that be? I dont want my weiner to touch random anything, much less dirty locker room scale metal. Yuck.

Naked gym guy also has no sense of planning. When I change into and out of my workout clothes, I carefully place my clothes out so I can strategically change quickly and effortlessly. Naked gym guy drops his drawers then decides to start to unpack his gym clothes. Naked gym guy also drops his towel before he even unlocks his locker to put his clothes back on. Maybe naked gym guy wants other guys to look at him. Maybe naked gym guy is just a weirdo. Maybe naked gym guy is really over-confident and thinks his "ExtenZe" that he bought off of an ESPN infomercial has given him that girth he was looking for and he wants to show off his dork to his gym buddies (or me) like a proud new papa.

Whatever the case may be, showing off your package to a bunch of other sweaty men in a smelly locker room just isn't right. It is really bad. It makes things uncomfortable for everyone. How do you think the janitor feels? He already has to wash off the nasty showers then he looks up and catches naked gym guy looking for his skivvies in the bottom locker, effectively getting "goated" by some stupid frat guy, while only making $10 an hour. Bad times. Really bad times.

Just think about that the next time you are at the gym and some turd with a faux-hawk walks in and heads straight for the shower, with no towel in hand...

Until next time....